From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Tue, 3 Aug 1999 15:02:17 -0500 Subject: Lapdance by Lynne Carter Source: direct Reply To: BamaX@msn.com Title: Lapdance Author: T.L. Carter Catagory: MSR, UST Rating: PG-13 (language) Spoilers: Arcadia, OS, FTF Summary: Set during Arcadia. Scully was entirely TOO quiet during the Arcadia 'couch' scene. Whatever *was* on her mind? And what happened after they left? Disclaimer: You and the 1013 boys can have their bodies to yourself I suppose Carter...but never their souls and hearts ...they share those with me and a few other folks. Author's notes: This is just a bit o fun I was having after Arcadia aired. The title is a bit misleading, (you didn't think *anyone* but Rachel Anton could touch that did you?) but it comes from two sources. The first inspiration was President W.J. Clinton (for obvious reasons) and the second (and classier-thank goodness!) was Scully. When she was practically laying on Mulder in the Arcadia 'couch' scene, I couldn't help but remember a thought I had when I first watched 'Little Green Men' and she enigmatically smiled at Mulder's wiretap and when the 'taped' men described a 'lapdance'. I thought to myself:'and I bet 'that's something you'll never see Scully do.' Well...Arcadia almost proved me wrong! Besides...we all know that most of the really good stuff happens OFF screen! * ) ************************************************************ "Well, if it isn't our newest residents! Come in. Come in." Mr. Gogalak opened the door back to admit us into his living room. I got that quesy feeling in the pit of my stomach but this time it wasn't Mulder causing it, but the grey-haired distinguished man facing us. This was the same feeling I got whenever Blevins used to call me into his office for one of my monthly 'reports'. This man had the same feel...same...psudo-pleasantness. I put on my smile and glanced up at Mulder standing beside me. He was extending his hand. "Rob Petrie. Nice to meet you sir." Gogalak shook it and returned his smile two-fold. Mulder had on his best pasted 'I know you're really a jack-ass' smile that he does so well. I just hoped he wouldn't overdo it with this guy. Yeah right. Mulder *not* overdo something? Sure Scully. Hope on. I didn't falter this time when his hands fell to my shoulders. Mulder had been pawing me for two straight days at every opportunity, so I braced myself on the short drive over here for his touch. Still, I felt the warm imprint of his fingers on my upper arms as he nudged me in front of him. His back blanketed mine as he pulled my shoulders back against his chest. "And this is my lovely wife Laura." I could feel Mulder's beaming grin as I reached my hand out to meet Mr. Gogalak's. "Nice to meet you sir." I hope that sounded pleasant. I wanted to elbow my 'husband'. A sharp one right to the ribs. Get off my back Mulder! His heat was infusing into my rear; I couldn't move and thinking was getting harder by the second. After a prolonged smile at me, Gogalak's eyes shifted above my head. "If I had a wife as beautiful as this I wouldn't take my hands off of her for a minute either young man." Mulder's beaming fake-o grin got even larger if possible. "Oh, I don't ever intend to let her go." Mulder reply sounded with an easiness I certainly didn't feel. His fingers squeezed into my shoulder a bit tighter as he said so. Gogalak glanced back at me to make sure I understood his compliment. I tried to look properly demure and flattered without getting nauseous. I was doing my best to blush at his false sweetness when Mulder surprised me by bending down and placing his lips near mine. The softness registered just briefly before I felt his moist lips slide across my cheek. My breath caught in my lungs and my face went hot. What the hell was he doing? Gogalak's face extended into a 'awww, isn't that sweet smile' and he winked at me as he noted my flushed face. "You must excuse me. I have a buisness call to finish in my office. I'll be just a moment." Gogalak gestured toward his den sofa. "You two just have a seat there on there and make yourselves comfortable." He turned to walk away before suddenly pausing to glance back. "But-not *too* comfortable." He pointed his finger at Mulder and the two men chuckled at his bad humor. I was feeling quesier by the second. How did I get sucked into this stupid assignment-assignment anyway? Rob and Laura? And I thought I could handle this just fine. I could too if Mulder would stop pawing me. As soon as Gogalak was out of sight, I turned and shoved Mulder away from me. He had the audacity to look hurt-even moreso than when I backed him off yesterday. "What the hell is your problem Mulder?" I whispered in my most angry tone. "Everytime we meet someone new it doesn't mean you've got to act like a dog in heat." He had the audacity to grin at me. Grin at me! He bent in close to my face, his eyes winkling. "Scully, I'm hurt. You know if I ever hump your leg it'll be in private." I absolutely *hated* the way my body quickened at the stupid suggestion. I wanted to make a properly cute comeback but my breath seemed permanently caught in my throat. So, I did the next best thing. I elbowed him. Right in the ribs. Hard. "Oww!" He didn't even try to whisper. I didn't bother to look back either as I made my way to the sofa and sunk down. How dare he?! He had no right! No right! Who told him he could play with my emotions like this? I felt raw on the inside. Two weeks removed from: "You don't know her Scully-I do." and he thought he could put his hands all over me and tease and kiss and I would stand still for it? Hell no. I deserve more than this from you Mulder. As good as it feels and you probably know how you're making me feel you jerk, I will not allow it. I don't even want it. Hell. Yes I do. And you know that now too don't you Mulder? Like a lovesick idiot I went and told you why I stayed with you. 'Personal intrest is all I have?' Could I have been anymore stupid? You had just ripped my heart out and I angrily lost it and just as much as told you that I stayed with you because I wanted to. Because I cared about you. Because my intrest is *you*. Because I...-argg! See Mulder? I've officially lost my mind. I am now as certifiable as you. Are you happy? Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him come over and sit down on the sofa next to me. I crossed my legs and looked away. The only sound was my leg swinging in a nervous gesture against the other one. I placed my hands on my knees and waited. I just wanted this over with so that I could get some space. I took a deep breath. I could feel him waiting on me to say something. Well, he could wait on. "Scully?" His whisper was barely discernable as he leaned in toward my ear. "I didn't mean to make you angry. I was just getting into the moment I suppose. I mean...we are supposed to be married." I couldn't look at him. I turned away from him and let my eyes flicker shut a moment. Married. Yeah. Mulder. And *that* is precisely the problem. I thought I could do this. That I could pretend to be married to you and not get all hot when you touched me. That I could look into your eyes and not wish. I had deluded myself into thinking that what we almost did in your hallway just wasn't something I really wanted. God! What a fool I am. How could I have let this happen? We're *partners* for god's sake. Things are so crazy right now between us. Yet, you...you... can just joke and play and tease and touch? Is it all one-sided? Is it only me who feels this...this..confusion? This 'playing' hurts dammit! I have got to get myself together. Mulder thinks I'm a total bitch and Gogalak will be back in here asking domestic questions any second. Taking another deep breath I called on every Captain William Scully trait I possessed to stone my face and pull up my chin and look into those eyes. "I'm fine Mulder...just..just don't crowd me so much." He smiled at the Scully he was used to coming back into her body. He put his arm around my shoulder to pull me to his side and I felt faint. "I really can't help it Scully-it's like I told Gogalak-I can't let you go." What was he saying? He was joking again. Surely...he was joking? I felt the hand that wasn't around my neck pull me onto his chest, effectively wrapping me in a little Mulder coccoon. My breath immediately went into choke mode. I'm going to turn and attack him right here on old Gogalak's leather sofa with his African tribal decorheads as witnesses. I felt my breasts fill as Mulder's fingers tightened on my arm. I found that I was immovable. I just lay there against him, almost in his lap. When Mulder reached up with a wandering hand to brush my hair off of my neck to put his nose there, I felt a tingling between my legs. If I turned even the slightest, my lips would be against his. I could take that full lower lip into mine and pull the moisture I felt earlier into my own mouth. I licked my lip, hearing myself gasp ever so slightly when that silky lip closed over my lobe breathing warm air into it. "Laura?..." Just a whisper. "Hmmmmm?" Was that *me* that answered? "Gogalak is hovering in the hallway. Stay still and don't move." He moved his nose behind my ear and ruffled my hair with his breath. "Pretend like I'm telling you something funny." He brushed his lips across the bottom part of my lobe before moving them away slightly. Disoriented, I tried to concentrate on his words. This was for Gogalak? Sure it was Scully. What else would he be 'getting into the moment' for? I put my brain on autopilot and tried to chuckle just a bit, lowering my face as I did so. At that moment, Gogalak cleared his throat and re-entered the den. Mulder grasped my arm tightly again and if possible, pulled me even closer onto his chest. I was beyond talking. I hoped Gogalak directed his questions toward my 'husband'. Dammit Scully. Don't use that word. Use...Mulder. Partner. Friend. Man who gives you chills all over when he blows in your ear. Man who has beautiful lower lip you'd suddenly like to devour. Just stop thinking Scully. Now. Gogalak and Mulder were speaking when I came back to myself. "Now, Mr. Petrie, am I to understand you want to put a mobile basketball goal up?" Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Mulder nod enthusiastically. Just don't look at his mouth Scully. Look at Gogalak. There you go. Gogalak was reaching for a big book on a nearby bible stand that looked thicker than the big FBI protocol book. The one that said, "Thou shalt covet thy partner." Oh god. You don't. Not really. It's just this stupid case. Keep that thought Scully. Be a professional. You've done it for a long time. "Let's see...basketball goals...portables.." Gogalak was leafing through several pages. "Nope. I'm sorry. It's not allowed." I looked up at Mulder who frankly looked stunned and probably was. Mulder had never understood rules that seemed unfair could possibly apply to him. I almost felt sorry for him. His hand felt so nice...warm and soft. I looked up into his dismayed face as I felt his crinkly hairs standing up slightly as I brushed the top of it with my fingertips. Warm...What the hell? I put my hand on my own lap and looked away from him. God. How embarrassing. I didn't even realize that I had put my hand over his. What am I doing? He'll think I'm encouraging this sort of thing. Gogalak was still ruminating on the wonderful merits of The Falls code of conduct when I managed to drag my eyes off Mulder and tune back in to him. God-this was *not* professional. Pay attention Scully. I listened to his brag with as much intrest as I could muster, but with Mulder pulling me on top of him, I could muster very little. "May sound tough but ours is a system that works and that's why The Falls is one of the top-ranked communities in all of California. Most of our homeowners have been here since day one." Try as I might, I could not concentrate on what he was saying. Mulder looked down at me and pulled me closer to him. I could tell he thought the guy was dirty from the look he was giving me. Gogalak could have grown two heads and spouted poetry and I would have sat there pasted against Mulder with that stupid smile on my face. What the hell is wrong with me? I know what. Mulder. What was new? I had to get him to keep his hands off me, or I would never get anything constructive done on this case. Damn, but if sitting here holding my hands over his atop his warm thigh doesn't feel good. Not just good...it feels... *right*. I glanced downward toward the source of my contentment, my small hand over his larger one. That wedding ring is gorgeous... Hell! I've done it again. Who am I to complain? I suddenly can't keep my hands off *him*. I have *got* to get away from him. I watch his mouth as he asks about the decor of Gogalak's home. Gogalak gives this ramble about his Pier 9 import buisness and offers to get us rattan furniture. I don't want any damn furniture. I just want off this couch right now. Remember to keep smiling Scully. Smile. Smile...I sure hope Mulder has paid better attention to this strange man than I have. Mulder turned to me and laced his fingers through mine pulling me up off of the couch with him. "Honey, I think we've taken up enough of Mr. Gogalak's time." I nod mutely at him as I continue to smile. I think my face may be permanently frozen in this position. Mulder continued to explain. "Laura and I are having dinner at the neighbors here in just a bit and I know she'll want to freshen up." As Gogalak nodded his understanding, we made it to the door where Mulder turned to extend his hand to Gogalak once again, the 'I know you're an asshole' smile back in full force. "Thanks for meeting with us sir. Next time I get ready to mow my yard, I'll give you a call." The tint of Mulder's sarcasm wasn't lost on Gogalak but to his credit, he never faltered, the psudo-smile remaining intact as chortled lightly. "Just make sure your beautiful wife doesn't keep you too busy to get out." I grimaced at the implication of his friendly worded remark as Mulder nodded and winked at him. You're gonna pay Mulder. I'll see to it now. We walked toward the door while Gogalak continued to make small talk. As we stepped outside and got into the vehicle, I refused to look at Mulder. I just couldn't. All these feelings were suddenly pressing down on me and I just couldn't. I kept my silence until Mulder demanded my take on Gogalak. His voice was muffled as he spit a sunflower seed through a crack in the van's window. "That guy could give Pat Buchanan a serious headache." He squinted into the late afternoon sun as he drove. I didn't know about Mulder, but it wasn't just my *head* that was hurting. "What do you think Scully?" He cast a glance toward me. "Could he be behind these disappearances? He sure seemed the type to brand somebody's ass for a stray weed in the yard." I really didn't want to talk right now. "I guess so Mulder. It's hard to tell from just from listening to him elaborate about his precious C C and R's. He was rather strange but he didn't exactly sign a confession." "Scully, Sometimes talking is the best form of indictment." It was all I could do to muster a raised eyebrow. "It's not what a person says but *how* they say it." He was into his own arguement, nodding to himself. "Look no further than the president." He paused as if waiting on my response. When I didn't deliever, he continued. "Everyone believed his innocence until he went on live tv and said he did *not* have sexual relations with 'that' woman." I really didn't want to discuss 'sexual relations' with Mulder, but he expected my pat arguement. "Still Mulder, it had to be proven." I threw it tiredly back at him as he pulled the van to a stop in 'our' driveway. As we got out of the van and went inside, Mulder kept his hands to himself and I found that I had relaxed just a bit. I had planned on making a few phone calls to D.C. before our dinner date but Mulder obviously wasn't through with our present conversation. "The stated denial often proves the guilt Scully." Don't bite. I calmly took my sweater off and hung it neatly on the foyer tree. Don't bite. Don't bite... "Ok Mulder, how so? How can someone's denial state their guilt without proof?" Mulder, who was following close behind me, laid a hand on my freshly uncovered shoulder turning me around. "Take you for instance." Uh. Oh. Nope. Take somebody else Mulder. "Mulder, I really do not have time for this. I want a shower before we go." I turned to walk across the den for the stairs. Mulder ran around me and punched his finger in the air like a politician in debate. "See Scully. There. You running off like that just proved me right!" Since he was effectively blocking my path, I had no choice but stand still and listen or try to push through him. I couldn't fathom what results the latter would bring so I just stood there yawning trying to act as if his closeness wasn't bothering me in the least. It really wasn't. That much. Mulder took my stillness as a indicator he should continue with his innane line of conversation. "The president did the exact same thing you do whenever you want something Scully." Now I was intrigued. How did he know what I did when I wanted something? Had I talked in my sleep? Putting my hands on my hips, I looked up at him challengingly. "And what might it be that the president and I have in common Mulder?" He smiled and I knew the game was up. This was all bullshit and Mulder was holding the shovel. "You say 'not'. A lot." He nodded as if that settled it. "What?!" I know I must have looked incredulous but what kind of insane example was that? Mulder held out his hands. "It is a proven fact Scully that when people *do* want something or have done something, they use the negative denial to affirm that need or want or guilt." I shook my head. "Mulder, you're crazy." "Scully, remember two days ago on the trip down here, we stopped at that coffee shop at the airport and I had that big cinnamon roll and you were eating that flaky little muffin?" "It was a *petit crossant* Mulder." "It was a flaky little muffin Scully." I rolled my eyes. Mulder continued to grin like an idiot. "Anyway, you wanted my cinnamon roll so badly you could taste it. I saw you watching me eat it so I ate it slowly just to make it worse." Oh boy. I remembered the event Mulder referred to but it wasn't the cinnamon bun that had my attention that morning. God! I have got to be more careful where my eyes wander. "So, what is your point Mulder?" I tried my tapping my foot ploy. "The point is Scully when I asked you if you wanted a bite, you looked me right in the eye, pointed at my roll and said, 'Absolutely not Mulder. No. I'm so full from this huge flaky muffin I've inhaled, I couldn't eat another bite. Never. No.'" "That is *not* what I said Mulder." His grin got even larger. "Close enough Scully. The point I just made is that you, like the president, admitted your guilt through your adamant denial. You protesteth too much. You said NO once too many times." Mulder looked very pleased with himself. I shook my head in mild amusement and bewilderment. My next words were delievered in heavy sarcasm. "Mulder, that was one of your more brilliant psychiatric moments there. Now, if you'll excuse me..." I shoved by him for the stairs. "Sort of like the way you continue to resist my husbandly affections." I stopped dead in my tracks. Didn't move an inch. Dead still. So, he wanted to know why I wouldn't play? Forget it. This is silly. This entire scenrio was so not 'us' and Mulder will forget about it all as soon as we get back to DC. But,no If I continue on, he'll think I'm avoiding this and he may suspect why. If I turn around, I may be asking for it. Asking for what? Don't hesitate --just make a decision dammit. I turned. "What do you mean 'resist' Mulder?" His smile had dissapated into a sly quirk. He opened his mouth, then closed it as if weighing things. "Forget it Scully. Go get a shower." There it was, the shadow of doubt and hurt that passed over his features. I'd know that Mulder look anywhere. Did I dare push? "What are you referring to exactly Mulder?" My voice shook slightly but he didn't seem to notice as he looked down at the soft beige carpet like it was an alien photo. "Whenever I put an arm around you...pull you close to me...I get the feeling it really bugs you or something." He continued to glance down at the carpet like a little boy being punished. Oh God. Mulder. Don't you understand why? Pain of heavy emotion ran through me faster than ever. I reached out a hand to him. He and I were of equal height as I stood on the first step and he on the floor. He looked into my eyes and ignored my hand to catch me by the shoulders firmly. He leaned in ever so slightly and I fell against the wall with a soft thud. I felt the hard wood press into my back as Mulder's face neared my own. I glanced at his lips again. God... Shiny. Wet. Moist. Just once? Would it make the hurt go away? Mulder's thumbs rotated in circles on my shoulders and he looked away from my eyes and down at his action. "I guess...I guess...that I thought you might be resisting my embraces because you..." What Mulder? Wanted them? I was fighting tears now and just could blink and bite my lip. If he'd bothered to look up from his hands to my face, he would have known the truth behind my avoidance. But, he didn't. I didn't know whether to be thankful or upset. Letting go of my shoulders, he pushed away from me and turned quickly toward the kitchen. "Don't worry about the comparison Scully." There was nervous laughter in his voice now as he called back over his shoulder. "I guess we all have a little of the president in us. If I offer you a cigar...then you can look out." Again. Always. A joke. A damn joke. Now who's resisting Mulder? Why do we do this...this...dance? I thought of the night ahead. Dinner with my new 'husband' and the neighbors promised to be another 'fun' time. I could hardly wait. Fighting tears and my own mass of emotional confusion, I turned and made my way up the steps to take my shower. I wanted a long cold one. Finis. Feedback: bamax@msn.com