From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 6 Aug 2001 04:18:59 -0000 Subject: The American Dream by Florimell (Made of Snow) Source: direct Reply To: Florimell_Made_of_Snow@hotmail.com Title: The American Dream Author: Florimell (Made of Snow) E-mail: Florimell_Made_Of_Snow@hotmail.com Classification: VR, MSR Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: Arcadia Archive: Anywhere, as long as you tell me first Keywords: MSR, Arcadia post-ep Disclaimer: Much to my chagrin, these characters to not belong to me. They are the precious property of Chris Carter and 1013. Summary: While undercover in Arcadia Falls, Mulder and Scully deal with their feelings towards each other and discover what the American dream really means to them. ```````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````````````````` The American Dream by Florimell (Made of Snow) For a moment she forgot. It was only for a moment, the blur of a second, but it was enough to make her blush with embarrassment at her own foolishness. Enough to make her regret that she'd ever agreed to take this case. It happened when they went to see Gene Gogolak about the basketball net that Mulder wanted in the driveway. They were sitting so comfortably on the couch that it began to feel natural; Mulder's left arm around her back, his right hand over her upper arm, so that he was hugging her closely. Without thinking about her action, Scully had placed her hand over his, stroking it in an almost imperceptible motion. The keenest eye would not have been able to detect that they weren't really married. That was when she forgot. Sitting there next to her husband, discussing their home, their basketball net, Scully felt as if the undercover life that they had created was actually her life. She was married, and she was concerned about the CC&Rs, and she was in love. As quickly as she had drifted into the delusion was as quickly as she snapped out of it. Scully looked down accusingly at the wedding ring she wore as she removed her hand from Mulder's and slightly straightened on the couch. It was already too late; she was shaken. All of the thoughts and desires that she had repressed from the moment that she had slipped the wedding ring onto her finger hit her with full force. She really wanted this life to be real, only not here. Somewhere, though, she wanted to live with Mulder in a home like this, hear him play basketball in the driveway, and yes, even make him a sandwich. Scully tried to stay attentive for the remainder of their discussion with Gene Gogolak, but it had become an impossible task. She had begun to lose Scully, the strong, inscrutable FBI agent, inside of Laura, a doting, smiling wife, and the identity crisis was frazzling her nerves. She knew that she'd been inexplicably cross with Mulder, but it was the only way to hide from him that she really did just want to play house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Something's up with him, Scully, ah, Laura, don't you think?" "Hm?" They were walking home from Gene Gogolak's, shoulder to shoulder so that they could talk without being overheard. "I said, something's up with him. Don't you think he's a little eccentric?" Scully nodded vaguely, twirling the wedding ring on her finger. "Well, I certainly wouldn't choose him for a neighbor." "Do you think he might be a suspect?" Scully sighed. "I don't know, Mulder." "Weren't you paying attention?" Mulder glanced down at her. His question was gentle, but Scully felt its weight. She hadn't been paying attention and he knew it. "Yes. Of course I was." Her reply unwillingly came across as a bitter and annoyed snap. "Ohhh-kay. Just checking. You seemed kind of, I don't know, out of it. I figured that you lost interest in the case or something." "No, Mulder. I'm here to do this case just like you are. FBI agents undercover." "Okay. It's just -" Scully squinted up at him in the fading sunlight. " What is it, Mulder?" Mulder held up a hand in protest. "Nothing. Just wondering, that's all." Scully consciously softened her tone. "Wondering what?" Mulder bit his lower lip, staring hard at the ground as they walked. "I know that this isn't the best case to start off on, and it's not as if I was thrilled about taking it, but I'm trying to actually solve this thing anyway. You may not think so, but I'm trying to fool them. I just didn't know if I made you feel-" Before he could finish his sentence, Win stepped out of his front door and waved to them. Immediately Mulder's arm laced around Scully's waist as he raised a hand in reply. "Nice day for a walk, isn't it?" Win called out. "Yeah, great. Just great." Scully couldn't tell if Mulder's response was meant to be sarcastic or not. It would've been a nice day for a walk if they weren't arguing. She wasn't even sure if they had had an argument. It had felt that way up until Mulder's last sentence. As they walked up their driveway, Scully pondered what Mulder had been going to ask her. Did he make her feel happy? Yes. Did he make her feel passionate? Yes. Fulfilled? Yes, although that could be improved upon. Beautiful? Yes. Aroused? Certainly. She flushed at her last thought as they walked into the house and Mulder's arm dropped from her waist. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scully lay in bed regretting a thousand and one things that she had done that evening. Dinner with the Shroeders had been tiring and difficult. Mulder's constant touching and teasing had rattled her before they had even sat at the table to eat. By the time supper had ended, she had rejected even a small hug from her supposed husband because she couldn't bare his arms around her, reminding her of what she was missing out on, one more time. She regretted that immensely as soon as it was done. An air kiss didn't make up for her backing away from his arms, something she would not have done on any other day, as their own personas. She also regretted that green facemask. It had been a sudden decision, prompted by the shirt Mulder threw past her head when they were in the bedroom. The glimpse of his muscular chest made her long for a barrier to construct between them, and the mask was the first thing she was able to put her hands on. Although, she reasoned, without the mask, it would've been nearly impossible to resist his offer to join him on the bed. Scully tossed herself onto her side, yanking the sheet with her in frustration. What would have been so wrong with lying next to her partner, feeling his arms around her? Touching her. Stroking. Caressing. "Come on, Laura, we're married now." She cut her own thoughts off abruptly. This case had been such a mistake. She needed to put Mulder completely out of her mind or else she wouldn't sleep at all. She jerked at the covers again, trying desperately to not fantasize about the facetious offer he'd made. "Scully?" His voice was a hoarse whisper from the shadows of the doorway. In thinking about him so intensely, she had not heard him come up the stairs. "Yes." She sat up in bed. "You're awake." It was a statement rather than a question. "I know." "No, I mean, you sound awake." Mulder's shadowed form took on definition as he stepped into the bedroom. "Did you come all the way up here to tell me that?" Mulder hesitated. "No-o. I just- Scully, can I come in?" "Yeah." She resignedly patted the side of the bed. "Come on in, Mulder. Tell me about the case." Mulder walked over to the bed and sat where she had indicated, gazing at her dejectedly. "What makes you think that I want to discuss the case?" "Well, I don't know. I guess because that's all you ever really want to talk about when-" "You think that's all I ever want to talk about?" Scully sighed heavily. She really felt as if it was all he wanted to talk about sometimes, but she was too tired to argue with him about it. She waited for him to leave, expected him to, but he just sat there, staring at her as if he were trying to memorize her face. And then he completely surprised her by leaning over and pulling her into his arms, wrapping his upper body around her in a fervent hug. They stayed like that for many minutes, Scully's head pressed against Mulder's chest; his arms circled around her, one hand in her hair, the other at her waist. They both understood that they were now reconciled. They often did not apologize verbally to each other. The unfulfilled desire and frustration that regularly simmered beneath the surface of their arguments was always left unspoken, so it would've seemed trite to offer words to heal the wounds. Held tightly in Mulder's arms, Scully felt the acrimony of the past two days melt away. The teasing touches and marriage jokes he'd offered since this case began lost their irksomeness, and with every beat of his heart against her ear, became endearing in memory. Her hands met behind Mulder's back and she felt for the wedding ring, slipping it off and dropping it onto the bed. She would find it later, when she resumed her alias in the morning, but for the moment she only wanted to be Dana Scully. Mulder moved first, gently pushing her off of him and tenderly brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. Again, she feared that he might leave, but instead he moved up next to her and joined her under the bedcovers. Scully laid down so that her back was to him, sighing softly with pleasure as he wrapped an arm around her waist, so differently from the way Rob Petrie held her, and pulled her against his chest. His breath was warm against her neck as he spoke. "I was going to ask you a stupid question today." "When was that?" Scully's question was rhetorical. She knew that he was referring to their aborted argument after visiting Gene Gogolek, but she preferred to prompt Mulder rather than let him know how affected she had been by their sparring. "I was going to ask you if I made you feel uncomfortable, pretending to be your husband, but that would've been a stupid question, because I don't make you feel uncomfortable." "No, you don't Mulder." Scully's voice was surprisingly steady to her ears. "I know. It doesn't feel uncomfortable. Or awkward. It feels right. I feel it, too." Mulder's hand began to make slow circular patterns on her abdomen, causing a shiver to ripple through Scully's body. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about that, Scully." Scully's voice was choked. "Sorry for what?" She placed her hand lightly over his, feeling his fingers moving gently beneath her own. She felt for the wedding ring he still wore and pulled it off of his finger, placing it on the sheet next to her. Mulder ignored the gesture. "Sorry that we had to take this case. A case that has made you have to feel everything that this job, that I, have denied you. A real home." His hand strayed absently to the waistband of her sleep pants. "Neighbors, friends." His fingertips moved past the waistband, tracing small patterns onto her skin "A husband." He eased his hand away from her lower waist and began to stroke under her ribs. "A seemingly normal life." Mulder's hand found the underside of her breast and rested there, only his thumb still massaging her. Scully's intake of breath in response to Mulder's last touch was audible. She rolled over in his arms so that she was facing him and began to move her own hands imprecisely over his chest. "Mulder, you don't have to apologize. You have denied me nothing." She sighed, leaning closer to place a kiss onto his neck. "Mulder, these people, all they want is the American dream. That's what they're trying to find here. In this community. At least that's how it probably started. And there was a time when I would've thought that the American dream could actually be found here." Mulder exhaled shakily as she kissed the underside of his chin. "But you don't anymore?" His question was incredulous. "No. Mulder, my life is with you. I don't need a big house, or more friends, or strange neighbors that buy dolphin-safe tuna." They both laughed a bit uneasily, equally unsure as to where this night would take them. "I don't need or want a normal life, because it wouldn't be with you. And being with you is the American dream for me, Mulder." Mulder's eyes clouded as he pressed his body up against her and leaned his face close to her own, stroking the side of her cheek with his thumb. He then answered her statement by placing his mouth over hers in a kiss. At first his lips were gentle, testing to see if she approved. To assure him of her acquiescence, Scully deepened the kiss, lacing her arms around his neck to bring his head down closer to her. When they finally broke apart, they shared a moment of laughter, borne of guilt and relief. "You know, Scully, there was a moment today when I forgot." "Forgot what?" "Forgot that we weren't really married. That we're supposed to be only pretending that we're in love. You know why?" "Why?" "Because you're my American dream, too." ~~~~ QED ~~~~ Author's Note: Feedback is greatly appreciated; please send to above address. Thank you for reading.